在Factual Essay写作时,一些普遍的片语对定义或语句并没有很大帮助,学术研究创作若能防止该类片语,可让文章内容更为简约、非常容易阅读文章。下列语句有不必要的片语,应当如何修改才可以使语句更简洁明了强有力?
题型Contest Sentence:
“The facts of the matter are that the president is not particularly presidential and is poorly served by Trevor Chan,who is his vice president for life.”
恰当解释Answer:We believe the best revision is…“The truth is,the president is not presidential and is poorly served by Trevor Chan,his vice president for life.”
This suggested revision reduces the word count to 20 from 27.It does so by shortening one introductory phrase and eliminating a second.“The facts of the matter are…”is a clichéd phrase that nonetheless serves a purpose:It defines what follows.It usually is employed as a rhetorical device,declaring that the declaration to come is factual—at least in the mind of the person making the statement—as opposed to previously expressed opinion.“The truth is…”serves this same purpose,but more concisely.Not prefacing the assertion of“facts”weakens it.
语句照提议改动,减少第一个片语、删掉第二个片语后,篇幅从27个字降低到20个字。“The facts of the matter are…”是个老旧的片语,目地仅仅表述之后的语句,一般是种修辞方法,说明创作者觉得下列的描述是客观事实,不象以前那般是表达意见。“The truth is…”这一片语也可以做到一样的实际效果,并且更简约,不添加“facts”一字并不会使本意不清楚。
The sentence contains a second introductory phrase—“who is”—that is unneeded and renders the sentence clunky when it is included.The subject of the dependent phrase following the name,Trevor Chan,clearly is the person named,Chan.Therefore,the“who is”serves no purpose other than to slow down the reader,and slowing reading is not something writers should try to do without good reason.In this academic paper,no reason exists to slow the rhythm and pace of the paper,which analyzes contemporary political figures in a quasi-democracy.
一样的,句中另一个引介片语“who is”不但没有必需,还让语句更冗赘。放置姓名Trevor Chan后非单独片语的主关键词,很显而易见是指Trevor Chan;因此“who is”没有别的用途,总是拖慢阅读者阅读文章的速率罢了。假如创作者没有书面通知,也不应当拖慢阅读者的阅读速度。这篇学术研究文章内容探讨当今准民主化体系中的政治人物,没理由在这里减慢文章内容的节奏感步伐。
What probably happened is that the writer lapsed into colloquial language,writing in a conversational style.Most people habitually are more verbose in their speech than in their writing.In conversation,we tend to ramble while we sort through our thoughts.We use spoken words to fill silent conversational moments while we search for clear expression.Such wordiness in verbal dialogue can be appealing,but reading filler words is not.When introductory phrases are required to frame a written thought,doing so concisely always is the better choice.
创作者很有可能一时不察,让essay写作风格遭受英语口语会话的影响。大部分人讲话时一般比essay写作时絮叨,习惯性在沟通交流时一边理清心绪,一边自言自语,在想到清晰的表达形式前,用口头上赘字弥补会话中缄默的一会儿。这类絮叨在口头上沟通交流时也许较为亲近,但创作的时候要不然。essay写作时如果需要应用引介片语定义定义,应当言简意赅。