楼主，很漂亮的说

我觉得 这要看你到底是不是很爱你男朋友了？如果是真的为了他可以放弃的话 不妨 赌一把。毕竟去美国 是很多人羡慕不已的事情；另外呢，文化背景确实是个问题，可是就算是一般的家庭，意见不合也是再所难免地，多交流沟通，才是硬道理，谁也不能保证，会长久过一辈子，主要是自己如何去经营，加油↖(^ω^)↗

这老外好凶啊

他马上又要来中国了,继续跟大家汇报

美国权威专家攥写的.我提议大家一起来回答.

据说有4个以上的问题没有共识的话建议不要结婚.

Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying

Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that couples should consider asking:

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?

Shandy:Yes,I hope we will have our babies when we prepare to be parents.

When I am a morther,I'm sure I will do try my best to take care of my children in every way I can. Anyway,I still think a husband's role is very important in a family. Children often take their Dad as an example when they are young. So I hope my husband could do a good job as well. It's so nice to share the esponsibilities with my husband to bring our children up.

Tim: Yes, I agree with you, we'll have our babies when we're ready, and hopefully no sooner. but if it happens sooner, then I'll be happy to have them with you. I believe in taking as much part of raising children as my wife, I think they need a father in their lives as much as they'll need their mother.

2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

Shandy:We are human beings also social beings. I work hard to gain money,with the money I own I can feel satisfied because I am realizing my social values,I have the ability to take care the ones i love and the ones who need my help. I want to own more money is not because I envy the richers,but it's a kind of being approved. In that way,I can see more smiling faces and it will makes me feel happy in the same way.

To be frank,I don't have any plans on how to spend money and I haven't formed the good habit of saving money yet.However,I will learn how to spend money in a wiser way,but I think one thing won't change--I want my own house,my own car and I won't care to spend money on my habits. As for saving money,I think it's an essential element to a family. I hope my husband has detailed and stable plans on how to save money and he keeps fighting for a better tomorrow.

Tim: I know my own goals, in now saving money for our future, I know I want a house, and to be able to live comfortably, but I don't need anything more than that. I don't need to have more money for the approval of others, but only want to be able to provide for myself and my family. I do enjoy helping others, and hope I will be able to do so in different ways in our future, but I will always put my family first.

I have not always been the best at saving my money for myself, but I am doing much better, and plan to do better since we've talked about it. I know I'll be able to pay for a home, and my cars I own, but I believe that big expenses such as a house, and savings need to be put in together by both the wife and the husband. Although I would love to pay for everything myself, and allow you to not work at all. I will of course have stable plans to keep saving money, and making for a better tomorrow for the both of us. I just need you to know this is something we'll both work together on.

3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

Shandy: there is a will there is a way. If two people are working hard together toward the same goals then everything will be fine. When we find we have lost each other because we are walking in different ways,the we will talk to each other less and less.Comunication is so important.

I don't think I am a girl who can foresee a very far future. I believe in "try your best and think about the worst result." and "In the end thing will mend." Although,I think every difficulty can be get over, it will be nicer if my husband will tell me,"Don't worry too much,you have me." when our family is in a trouble.

As for chores, I think every family member has the duty to do house work. I will spend a lot of my free time to cook, do the the laundry,keep the house in order and so on.

Tim: We haven't discussed how the household will be maintained, or the chores. I believe that this is something we'll both need to work together on. If I am home, I will keep things clean, and expect if you're home that you will do the same. If we both work together like this, we'll have no issues with having to maintain the household. I know there will be somethings that you wont be able to do, but I'm happy to take care of problems that you can't (electric, plumbing, etc.) I will be happy to take care of the yard and maintain the house as we need as well.

4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?

Shandy: I am a healthy girl,both physical and mental. I accept thorough physical examinations every year.

Tim: I am a healthy boy, physically and mentally as well. I've had many trials and tribulations in my life, but everything I've been able to overcome on my own through mostly sheer will. I have a sensitive stomach at times, but nothing that stops me from enjoying my life. I am a very good tempered and light hearted person, it do not get irritable easily, and am usually in a good mood

5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

Shandy:Every parents will put their children's happiness at the first place. My parents will feel happy if I am really happy. If it's hard for them to accept something now, but time can tell everything. I will insist on what I think it's right. I am sure I won't hurt my parents.

Tim: I am a very affectionate person. I like to touch my partner, and give them kisses. I do, however, like to keep it to a minimum in public, but when we are home I like to cuddle and to make love to my partner. I know from being with you that you like to hold me and kiss me as well. I hope that this will not change once we are together every day. Some couples have this fire alive and well while they're dating and they often make love and like to be net to each other, but once they get married this slows down. I don't ever want it to slow down, I always like to show my love how much I care for her, and I like to be able to cuddle with her and make love to her often. I like to try new things and have fun with it, and would expect you to be the same

I think you answered this question in another form, if I were to answer as you did, I would say much of the same. My parents are happy if they know I'm happy, and nothing else will matter. It was hard for my parents to accept my tattoos and piercings at first, and that I did not believe in their religion, but they love me just because I am family, and they want me to be happy, and nothing more.

6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?

Shandy:Yes.I think we could talk about this topic openly.

I don't have any questions now..If I have,I will let you know. If you have,you can feel free to tell me as well.

Tim: Yes I'm very comfortable with talking to you about my sexual needs and preferences, although I don't think I have any fears. I'm sure I'll let you know if I do have something come up though. Like I said in the answer to another question, I am a sexual person, and love to hold my love close and to have sex often with her. I know from being with you while I was there that you liked to do the same. I hope you're open to have fun with this topic, and that you don't ever feel like you want to do it less. I think sex is a very important thing in healthy relationship, it allows us to connect on a very intimate level, and show each other how much we love one another.

7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?

Shandy: though many people think a TV in the bedroom can kill many happiness,I haven't realised yet.

I will follow my husband's suggestion.

Tim: I have enjoyed having a television or a computer in the bedroom. I know you have your computer in your bedroom now, I think I would be ok with being able to watch a movie in bed with you, but I'm open to any suggestions as well.

8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?

Shandy: Yes.If I have against ideas,I will talk openly.

Tim: Yes, I'm very open about my feelings and listen full heartedly about any troubles or ideas you have.

9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

Shandy:I don't quite know your spiritual beliefs. Do you have some special ones? By the way,I wonder why you had never tried even beer or red wine. You have decided never to touch them just because you was told they are not good or you realised alcohol's harm from your friends' examples? I remeber you have said--give a try before you say you don't like it. Is there a story of yourself?

I don't think I have accepted a good education in China. I think you can give better suggestions on our children's education based on your growth environment.

Tim: I know we talked about this briefly one time over chat, but I don't think we ever ended the conversation. My mother and father are very religious, as are two of my brothers. I choose not to follow an particular religion. It has nothing to do with my choices not to drink alcohol though, I have chosen not to try them for a lot of different reasons. I know that I have had to take care of many many friends who drink and it has never been a pleasant experience. I don't believe people make good decisions when they drink, and I don't like the feeling of not having control of myself. My brother drinks and has hurt his life repeatedly because of his addiction to it. I know several people in my extended family have had a problem of becoming addicted to things, and I don't want to have anything controlling me. I have never tried it, and I have no interest in it either I also don't like that people use it as an excuse for mistakes they do when they're inebriated.

As for education, I believe I was given a very good, and cultured education. I think if you were to look at the school systems here, you would be happy to allow your children to take part The only thing I wish I would have done differently is to have learned another language. I envy you that you can speak 2 languages fluently, and want to work towards that now.

10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

Shandy: I do will respect your friends. If I don't like all of them,I will have my reasons and I will let you know why. But I won't tell you what to do and what not to do. You will only stop doing sth.when your heart tells you NO.

Tim: I like the friends I've met of yours very much. I think Steph and Ms Big are very sweet girls, and I've told you before that I think you're lucky to have them, and they're lucky to have you as well. I agree, and I will not tell you what to do either. I know that you will always keep me on your mind when you make your decisions the same as I always keep you on my mind when I make mine.

11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

Shandy;Yes.

I will always respect parents' suggestion. At the same while,I will try to prove to them my choice is right. I believe my parents hope I will find my happiness and so do I. Then,nothing can change my mind if I do want to be with you.

Tim: Yes. I always respect my parents, whether I think their opinion is right or not. I know my parents just want me to be happy, and I hope your parents think the same way. I do respect your parents, although I don't know them very well at all. They seemed kind when I was there.

12) What does my family do that annoys you?

Shandy:Nothing.

Tim: Nothing, I don't know them well enough to know if they do anything. They've always been very kind to me.

13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?

Shandy: have my private space and time

I enjoy the moment that I am nobody else,but only Shandy for myself.

Tim: I agree with private space and time. Every Saturday night I have a game night with my make friends. This is something I've done for years and years, and don't want to stop. It allows me to relax with them and just hang out. this is one of those times just for me, and no one else

14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?

Shandy: Yes.But I cannot leave forever.

Tim: I would say yes as well. I know you will want to go back to see your family, and I know we'll work together to make sure you can do that. I know that if you were offered a career opportunity that needed us to move, and it was worth me quitting my job, I would be happy to go with you. But in an instance like this, we'll need to make sure that either you would be able to take care of me, or I would be able to find work where we moved to so I can bring money in as well. I know when you come here, you'll have opportunities for work, and that is a big reason for you moving here. I know if I were to go there right now I would not be able to get work, which would be very stressful for both of us.

15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

Shandy: I will always try my best but I can accept every possible result.

I am not afraid of the challenges if I have you.

Tim: Yes, I know you love me very much, and I love you as well. I am happy that you said you can accept every possible result, as we are both human. I am not afraid of facing challenges with you, I know you'll work as hard as I will in anything that comes upon us.

LZ,

你店铺户部巷那里哦？

店名叫什么，

我下个月来武汉。记得去你店里去看看，

呵呵，

LZ，感情事情还是先考虑好，再行事。

祝LZ幸福！

谢谢MM的支持.你加我QQ哦--12427971,我现在比较忙,不是经常在店里,我们也可以约时间啊,呵呵

月底出发,去广州--香港--深圳,十一后就回了.

内容被自动屏蔽

后来怎么样了啊

再撇开文化差异不谈，楼主可以把他想象成一个普通的中国人，外地人，邀请你去见他的家人，你愿意吗？

你自己都承认没那么爱他，就不要勉强

就算是以去旅游的心态去对待，我觉得也不太妥当

首先感觉LZ不是很爱BF

不然不会这么犹豫 看过前面很多JM的答复

可以看出都觉得LZ的bf还是很不错的

不过人生就一次 LZ的父母也都在武汉.

还是想清楚得好. 我觉得可以先看下BF的生活环境

再看看你自己是否能适应...

周围有几个嫁老外的，但结局异常惨淡。。。

其实老外还是很不错的，如果是虔诚的教徒，那更好

如果普通的话，呵呵，悲剧居多

两个极端的比较多

为了下一代

LZ去吧

你马上可以做世界上Z强大国家的公民

一个没有强拆

一个没有70码

一个没有77的住房的谎言的国家

支持你过去

这个帖子关注很久了，楼主出来说说结局撒

我有个同学也远嫁到美国凤凰城了

不过她的情况跟你有点不一样，她父母离异了，你这个情况是要好好考虑考虑，看看自己的适应能力强不强，还有去了那边如何去融入那边的生活，东西方文化的差异，很多很多……跨国婚姻不是那么简单的……

那段话不错，十五个问题

克吧！！！！！

我对这蛮怕了~

不过可能人生要有那么几次义无反顾，

退一万步不好，回忆起来也是段经历~

改变命运的时刻到了。。。。加油啊 LZ。。。